By Liz Jones (Daily Mail)
Trying to impress a man? Then don't wear any of the achingly trendy items listed below.
All are beloved of celebrities and other women - but chaps just can't stand them, a survey for the website MSN has found. The men who voted listed nine of the season's most popular garments or accessories as total turn-offs, along with all that lovely fringing on handbags and shoes.
Here LIZ JONES examines the fashions that don't pass muster with our menfolk.
HAREM PANTS
These were first seen on the catwalk at Yves Saint Laurent three years ago, and have been churned out by every high street label since. Men hate them because women look as if they have just filled their nappy, and you can't see our legs or our buttocks, just folds of fabric.
They scream fashion victim, rather than sex kitten.
JUMPSUITS
Now that the jumpsuit playsuit or romper has become ubiquitous, women spend even longer in the bathroom wrestling with these wretched garments.
They make us look shapeless and worryingly Andy Pandy-like. As one man said: 'They're the ultimate in women-dressing-for-other-women. Confusing and overly clever. At best you look like a toddler, at worst like my mum in the Seventies.'
UGG BOOTS
This awful Antipodean foot wear has seeped into every social occasion. No matter how hot the summer party or muddy the festival field, young women have their feet swathed in sweaty sheepskin.
There is no sexy sound of a clicking heel, just the pad, pad, pad of a camel. 'There is no toe cleavage, no ankle,' a young man told me sadly. 'They smell pretty bad, too.'
HEADBANDS
As a man rightly opined, 'Why would anyone want to look like Bjorn Borg?' Men hate anything in our hair: scrunchies, slides, fascinators, hairspray. They like to be able to run their fingers through squeaky clean locks without impedimen.
GLADIATOR SANDALS
Men simply detest these - they take ages to put on and take off, and they leave horrible red welts. With so many straps creeping up our legs, they make us appear short, too.
LEGGINGS
The problem with leggings, one man emailed me, is that there is no mystery. Every contour is revealed.
Another big moan from men is that too many women wear them no matter their shape, which means too many sausage legs.
'Even Cheryl Cole shouldn't wear leggings,' one man told me.
'They are too council estate, too comfy. Once a woman gets used to wearing an elasticated waist, there's no going back.'
TUXEDOS
We women think we look great in a tux, but the scene in the new SATC movie, when Carrie wears one for a wedding, shows us that very often we do not: she wanted to look like Bianca Jagger, but ended up like Mick: desiccated and ridiculous.
Men are simple creatures: they like to see our legs, arms and maybe a bit of decolletage. What they don't want is braces and shirt studs.
DUNGAREES
Who wants a woman who resembles a builder? Or who hides her breasts and her waist behind a heavy sail-cloth of hard, nasty denim?
OVERSIZED SUNGLASSES
'If I see a woman in these, I know she's hiding something,' my postman told me. 'A drink problem, a lie...'
Another man said: 'A woman's best assets are her eyes. Why hide them?'
It's not just the darkness of these overpriced bug shades that worries men, it's the sheer size. 'You can never kiss a woman wearing a pair,' said another.
Add new comment